I thought that I needed to wait for “something” to happen before I could be free.  I told myself to work hard, be perfect (good luck with that!) and try to exceed the expectations of each situation.

I told myself to wait until:

I left a toxic workplace

I finished my dissertation and publish my own research

I stopped caring for my ill mother

My children were grown

I completed my certification program and develop my own coaching style

MAGA days end in the White House

I stop feeling afraid

I retire

Just hide a bit longer.

I rationalized that all the waiting was “just” my brilliant strategizing because I was a feminist operating in hostile spaces.  I believed that I was “just” trying to stay safe.  I told myself to “just” keep going because eventually I would be free to be myself.  

Actually, I intensified my own fear and pain.  I shrank.  I caused myself emotional and physical pain.   I caused that pain with these thoughts. I became an expert at dodging landmines.  The problem with that was that I was focused on the landmines.  **I lived to avoid instead of living to LIVE.

I learned this week that waiting to be myself is a waste of time.  If I wait for external circumstances to change, I will always be at the mercy of others to decide when I can be myself.

There’s no way that I want to abdicate my power to others – not anymore.  

I promise that when you take the step of claiming your voice, you will see all the new options available.  You won’t want to wait.  You will start to meet your goals quickly.  You will start to enjoy life.  You will have fun.  You will create what you never thought was possible.  

Here’s what liberation looks like for me these days:


Wearing my feminist t-shirt wherever and whenever I want.

Speaking my truth in love about all the things that matter most to me.

Noticing when my brain starts to spiral and stopping it in its tracks.

Refusing to comply with sexism.

Reading any book I want.

Taking action even when I feel afraid.

Posting my favorite feminist quote on social media without worrying  that I’ll get fired.

Recognizing and disrupting my self-censorship.

Managing my thoughts daily.


Drawing close to the people my chosen community.

Enjoying my success.

Choosing my legacy.

Exploring my hobbies.

Owning my preferences.

Setting goals.

Knowing that I’m smashing the patriarchy each time I do any one of the things on this list.

Are you longing to feel free in your life?  I can help.  Coaching offers reusable tools and strategies that you can apply to every area of your life. Sign up for a free one-hour discovery session with me [HERE.](

We will talk about your goals and why they seem elusive.  By the time we get off the call, we’ll make a plan to get you there.

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