I am a planner and a dreamer.
I love the dopamine hit I get from making an elaborate plan to detox with a cleanse, adjust my business model, create a travel itinerary, make a research goal that includes an unrealistic amount of reading or start a new scheduling plan.
I imagine it and I lay it all out in a complicated model, but I don’t execute it because it’s all based on my perfectionism. I give up the second I don’t keep 100% to my cleanse, reading plan or daily schedule because I feel like a failure and I want to erase that feeling by trying something new.
See what happens? I hop around from perfectionist fantasy to perfectionist fantasy with blinders on to the life that is staring me in the face.
When I expect nothing less than “perfection” (whatever that is in my brain at the moment), I set myself up for “failure.”
That’s my inner critic being mean to myself.
That’s also me tricking myself into believing that life is a good/ bad binary.
That’s me not showing up for myself to reach the goals that truly matter to me.
That’s me thinking that life shouldn’t feel bad while also conditioning myself to feel bad often.
That’s definitely not me living my most vibrant version of my life.
Exhausting, right? I might as well tell myself to dig a well with my bare hands and then beat myself up for not doing it.
This negative, circular thinking is one example of Imposter Syndrome. Many of us internalized this pattern self-doubt and critical self talk from the systems of oppression and exclusion that we’ve been raised with in this country.
You feel awful because that’s the way the system was designed and because you have a human brain trying to follow the rules of that system.
But, you are not stuck. We can manage our thoughts and catch onto the habits of our Imposter Syndrome thinking.
Replace doubt with calm.
Swap second guessing with progress.
Shift the inner critic to your ally.
This transformation is not a perfectionist fantasy. It’s a process that is possible. I know because I have experienced it and my clients have too.
Sign up for a conversation with me if you are ready to break free from your Imposter Syndrome. We’ll talk about your goals and we’ll make a realistic plan to get you there.