Think of a goal that you set for yourself in the past. Was it your goal or did it belong to someone else? Here’s what I mean.
The patriarchy is an organizing system that not only structures our society (government, education, religion, family), but it also organizes US. It influences what we think is (im)possible based on our gender identity. It reinforces the “right” choices and it punishes the “wrong” choices.
Enter your goals. Did you set the goal because your family expected it of you? Did you set the goal because you thought that you would feel good when you achieved it? Did you NOT set a goal because you believed that it was out of reach?
Because the patriarchy impacts every single person on this planet, you are not alone. You didn’t do anything wrong. You couldn’t escape the patriarchy’s influence. You can, however, disrupt the conformity with rules that you didn’t set for yourself by dreaming loudly.
Ask yourself what you would want if you knew that you could not “fail.”
2. Goal Inventory
Why did you set your goal? Did you set it in hopes that you would feel good about yourself after achieving it or did you set the goal because you love yourself.?
Do you expect the process of achieving your goal to feel horrible? That’s one of the ways that the patriarchy scares us away from daring to dream. You don’t need anyone else’s permission to enjoy the process and the outcome.