I have big news in my personal world of wellbeing. I’ve finally discovered the true name of my inner critic!
After years of coaching both others and myself to identify and name our inner critics, I finally found it. While I’ve assigned a name to mine in the past, it never felt entirely accurate. It was like wearing a pair of pants that are slightly too small or too big, yet you wear them anyway, hoping they’ll stay on and your underwear won’t show. You catch my drift, right?
Identifying my inner critic proved challenging because it operated within me, seamlessly integrated into my thoughts. Its roots traced back to the lessons ingrained in me by a deeply patriarchal community and personal family losses. In an environment where conformity was the norm and success appeared attainable only through persistent struggle, this inner critic conveyed messages centered around withholding, questioning worthiness, and fearing failure.
After experiencing a rollercoaster of intense emotions over a few tumultuous days, I found rest in meditation. An evening session and another at dawn, as my daily cold plunge plans were disrupted by thick ice in the tank. Amidst this inner exploration of allowing my emotions and releasing them, my inner critic’s identity became clear. It was revealed. I felt an immediate liberation.
Rather than centering discussions on naming our inner critic, I’m shifting the focus to uncovering it. We don’t necessarily need to name it immediately; instead, we can recognize its presence in the form of anxiety, fear, overwhelm, shame, disappointment, anger, guilt, or any other emotion. The name emerges organically. Trust me, despite my earnest efforts to name my inner critic, I couldn’t grasp it until I allowed it to emerge from my emotions.
As we embrace this approach, the process becomes more authentic and transformative. I share this experience as a reminder that the journey to understand and navigate our inner critic is a nuanced one, and it’s okay not to have all the answers immediately. You will find it and then life will shift.