It doesn’t matter whether you’re an extrovert or an introvert, ambitious or laid-back, we all need four key people in our lives. If you’ve been around The Trailblazer long enough, you’ve heard me say that one of the biggest lies of the patriarchy is that women need to go it alone. The thing is, that it’s not true. What we need is strategy and community.
Research findings of a study with over 10,000 millionaires shows that we really need four key people in our lives to feel not only become financially successful, but also to feel like we belong. Each participant in the study prioritized these four relationships:
- Mentor
- Friend
- Coach
- Champion
Your mentor knows more than you and has more experience. Being the smartest person in the room means that we’re in the wrong room. Seek out a mentor you admire and whose life trajectory can inform yours. Don’t know one yet? No problem. You can read a book or watch a video. There are lots of ways to learn and feel inspired while you are cultivating that mentor/mentee relationship.
Your friend reminds you that there’s more to life than work. She’s the one you call when life goes sideways, the one you want to text when you just want to say the thing and know that you won’t be judged. The friend is the one who shares fun with you. They don’t dive into negativity, they lend you a hand to pull you back up when you’re ready.
Your coach helps you think strategically and make a plan to take action. She is the one you can turn to reliably for accountability on a regular basis. She’ll text you a podcast or check in to remind you who you are when you forget because she knows that you are not here to fit in. You are here to shine. Your coach maintains laser focus on your goal and commits to helping you achieve it with personalized tools.
Finally, your champion is the person who sees the best in you, and you believe her. She’s the one who knows you can do it and doesn’t hesitate to tell you. One of my dear friends always brings up that I’m a Fulbright Scholar—whether we’re meeting someone new or with old friends. She’s one of the people I think about when I want to envision the most vibrant version of myself. And, she’s relentlessly in my corner.
Some of you might be worrying that you don’t have all (or even one) of these people in your community yet. That’s okay. We always re-evaluate our communities of support because we change, and life changes. For example, I’ve been missing my mentor lately and am open to the next one. In fact, they might be here right now, and I’m just not seeing them. That’s why we slow down, stop scrolling, and start reflecting. When we know our goals and our why, the teacher shows up.