self-censorship

Fire & brimstone level fear

I used to feel ashamed about so many aspects of my life that I forgot myself and started to seek approval for my hobbies, clothing preferences, research and parenting. I forgot that it was an option to decide for myself. Over time, I slowly hid the qualities that made me uniquely me. They weren’t gone …

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Chasing “tomorrow” used to fuel my perfection.

I am a planner and a dreamer.   I love the dopamine hit I get from making an elaborate plan to detox with a cleanse, adjust my business model, create a travel itinerary, make a research goal that includes an unrealistic amount of reading or start a new scheduling plan.   I imagine it and …

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“Ungodly Matriarchy”

Feminist hear the ABCD’s of gender slurs regularly.  BIPOC feminists experience the most vile threats.  As a white feminist, my race privilege insulates me.   Haters on social media who would not recognize me if we were standing in line next to one another at Starbucks ordering identical drinks, called me dangerous, immoral and radical. …

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Liberation!

Liberation!

I thought that I needed to wait for “something” to happen before I could be free.  I told myself to work hard, be perfect (good luck with that!) and try to exceed the expectations of each situation. I told myself to wait until: I left a toxic workplace I finished my dissertation and publish my …

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